Procrastination Problems

"I need someone to hit me every time I start to procrastinate,” said the girl in the HUB.

Yeah, I need that, too.

Procrastination is an epidemic that we all suffer from. Whether it is homework related or putting off a simple task, we all do it. We all acknowledge that we shouldn’t do it. We all see how it negatively affects our productivity. Yet we all do it.

I just procrastinated writing this blog post that is about procrastination.

With that though, there are psychological reasons as to why we procrastinate.

According to Steven Pressfield’s book The War of Art, we tend to procrastinate “any act that rejects immediate gratification in favor of long term growth, health or integrity”

Intrinsically, we have the desire to essentially “block” ourselves. I think we can all relate to how when something important needs to be done, we tend to put it off at all costs. But why?

Pressfield states that “the more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more resistance we feel toward pursuing it.” We block ourselves from the pressure.

If something is so important, an almost paralyzing force comes forth.  In its own way, fear plays a role.

Simply, when something needs to be, its best to just do it. Once you realize that procrastination is natural, we can take steps to counter it.

If you know something is important, instead of cleaning your room or doing other things, you must resist the urge and actually do what you need to do.

Though many claim that their best work is done by procrastinating, that’s a hard argument to make. No matter what you want to believe, better planning and management, in a comfortable and calm atmosphere will always produce the best work.

We must master the art of non-procrastination. 

Fictional Fallacies

This week, while inconspicuously posed in the HUB, I heard various conversations going on around me. As I listened though, one particular conversation caught my eye…or ear, in this case.

I heard the word “Hunger Games” and honed in.

Yep. I’m one of those. I love the series and the words “hunger” and “games” alone forced me to listen into this particular conversation.

Sadly the conversation was not what I expected – the girls started talking about the romances of The Hunger Games…and then of Twilight.

Err. With that I lost interesting. But it did make me think, why do girls obsess so much about fictional romances, especially ones like Twilight. It’s clearly not a plausible situation. He is, after all, a vampire...

Why are we drawn to fantasy over reality, psychologically speaking?

To answer this, Psychology Today calls it a “fantasy bond.” This type of bond starts “to fuse our identity with the person we care for, relying on them to give us value and make us feel safe.” In Twilight, the heroine doesn’t believe life has any meaning without her vampire love.

That’s clearly not healthy.

And it doesn’t help that readers project the ideals of Bella’s vampire on real people in their own lives. This can only conclude with destructive outcomes.

Also, Psychology Today states that, “in order to live in fantasy, we have to suspend reality and give up the positive aspects of our relationship that we value but that cause us real pain.” That’s an important concept to recognize. You can’t expect any significant other to be Edward Cullen, or any other fictional love interest. It’s labeled fiction for a reason.

We, as a society, need to recognize no relationship is perfect. “The love depicted in Twilight is a figment of fantasy, a co-dependent, hungry union in which two people expect to be mutually rescued and bound for eternity.”

In reality, we can’t expect this. To be honest, the most we can find in another people is, as Psychology Today puts it: “someone who we feel respect, attraction, and admiration, someone who encourages us to challenge our own defenses and limitations, and who helps us to become our better selves.”

Girls need to realize a novel is not reality - when we confuse the real world with what we read, we lose touch with reality. Striving for an Edward Cullen is the perfect way to end up in an unhealthy and unsettling mindset and relationship.

Escaping into a novel is fine, but believing that the novel is reality is a habit girls need to break. 

The Stressful Situation

So, this week I didn’t overhear anything fascinating. I didn’t hear one particular line that set my mind in motion and caused me to over-analyze. What I did hear though is an interesting topic to dissect.

While doing work in the HUB, I heard a group of girls complaining about being stressed. Even though it’s been four days since we had Spring break, the girls whined that they already have too much work.

I don’t judge them at all, though. I hate stress. When I was younger, my sister would get so stressed that her immune system would weaken, and she’d get sick.

Stress has always been a villain in my eyes.

Well, stress is annoying. Stress can make a person physically ill. It can diminish the immune system and dry out the digestive tract. It impairs the memory and can lead to anxiety. An article in Psychology Today (March 2012) states that in can even gnaw away at the ends of chromosomes and in turn accelerate cellular aging. 

Yet, we need stress. We couldn’t exist without it. Stress keeps us engaged from moment to moment. It is the reason we wake up in the morning and when, at a good level, can give us a sense of control over events in question – though we rarely think of stress in such a way.

It is all about maintaining stress at a good level. Good stress is since in situations when in a situation of high tension, yet you’re aware that everything will be alright in the end. Psychology Today cites a roller coaster ride as an example: "it may send your stress-hormone levels soaring, but you know the ride will be over in minutes." This is explained as "voluntarily relinquishing a degree of control and predictability in a setting that is benevolent overall."


So, there can be a good level of stress. The trouble is finding that level and maintaining it.

Shyness Sensitivity

In the world today there are many different people. Obviously. Yet of the mass quantities of humans existing, each can be classified by a personality trait or traits. And the number of traits is far less staggering. That being said, this week in the HUB I sat studying, when I overheard two girls talking about their friend. This happens a lot, for those who have never listened to girls talk to each other. Gossip is like a sixth sense. It’s kind of disgusting. Anyway, after listening for a while, one girl said that her friend “is so shy,” and that “she never wants to hang out with people,” in a mocking tone - as if it’s a bad thing that her friend isn’t as outgoing. The other girl agreed, with “it’s honestly so annoying.”

Cue me getting irritated. First of all, shyness and “not wanting to hang out with people” are not the same. Secondly, why is either of those things bad?

Interestingly enough, in a recent article in Psychology Today, this idea is discussed. A researcher named Susan Cain, in her book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking, talks about the distinction between shyness and introversion. "Shyness, she says, is the fear of social judgment whereas introversion is 'really a preference for less stimulation.' ...Indeed, approximately 30% of highly sensitive people are gregarious. But, as they still tend toward being careful and deep thinkers, highly reactive, and easily over-stimulated, they need much more downtime than do extroverts to recover."

 

As an introverted person, I often get called shy and I am not shy. I just don’t like being around people as much as an extroverted person. It’s completely different. I don’t see why there is a problem with not always wanting to be around people, and it’s a mistake to always assume someone is “shy.” Shy, to me, denotes that they desire that interaction but don’t know how to obtain it, that is not the same as introversion.  

Either way, if you’re friends with an introvert or someone who is shy, know that it is not something socially weird, but an intrinsically driven mindset.