In the world today there are many different people. Obviously. Yet of the mass quantities of humans existing, each can be classified by a personality trait or traits. And the number of traits is far less staggering. That being said, this week in the HUB I sat studying, when I overheard two girls talking about their friend. This happens a lot, for those who have never listened to girls talk to each other. Gossip is like a sixth sense. It’s kind of disgusting. Anyway, after listening for a while, one girl said that her friend “is so shy,” and that “she never wants to hang out with people,” in a mocking tone - as if it’s a bad thing that her friend isn’t as outgoing. The other girl agreed, with “it’s honestly so annoying.”
Cue me getting irritated. First of all, shyness and “not wanting to hang out with people” are not the same. Secondly, why is either of those things bad?
Interestingly enough, in a recent article in Psychology Today, this idea is discussed. A researcher named Susan Cain, in her book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking, talks about the distinction between shyness and introversion. "Shyness, she says, is the fear of social judgment whereas introversion is 'really a preference for less stimulation.' ...Indeed, approximately 30% of highly sensitive people are gregarious. But, as they still tend toward being careful and deep thinkers, highly reactive, and easily over-stimulated, they need much more downtime than do extroverts to recover."
As an introverted person, I often get called shy and I am not shy. I just don’t like being around people as much as an extroverted person. It’s completely different. I don’t see why there is a problem with not always wanting to be around people, and it’s a mistake to always assume someone is “shy.” Shy, to me, denotes that they desire that interaction but don’t know how to obtain it, that is not the same as introversion.
Either way, if you’re friends with an introvert or someone who is shy, know that it is not something socially weird, but an intrinsically driven mindset.
I can completely level with you, Kelsey. I'm an extrovert in a family of introverts, so I now a thing or two about my more reserved brethren (and sistren?).
ReplyDeleteNothings wrong with being shy I think! It is more about just how much we want to open our mind to the people. However, that doens't mean that a shy person do not want to open her mind, but she isn't just ready yet. I know some shy people who talk a lot when I talk to her personally. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI've read some excellent articles about introversion, and you're correct: it's often misinterpreted as shyness, awkwardness, or stand-off-ish-ness, when in reality it's not any of these qualities.
ReplyDeleteWay to stand up for the introverts! Although I really enjoy engaging with others and my job requires constant interaction, I'm actually an introvert. I draw my strength from quiet, not crowds.
Introverts unite!